Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
