Moan for me like Helen Keller
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
