Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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