You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
