SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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