Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, beer. Big fan.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
