I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
