Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize