No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he fucked my hip out of place.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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