It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize