You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
