we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
