i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
