so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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