And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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