I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
