If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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