but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need to stop coming to work sober
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
