I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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