I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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