im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
