What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
