In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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