Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize