I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you had me at cake vodka
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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