omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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