I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
