its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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