I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
