Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
