Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize