i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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