you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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