the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
