he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
soo... how was my night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
