your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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