Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My liver just had a heart attack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
