Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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