Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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