Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
