I heard we made out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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