The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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