so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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