You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
