Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
