I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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