Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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