he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
