he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
