Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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