Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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