I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
