I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
