i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
