So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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