I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
