"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
