Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
