They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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