Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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