so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
