i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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