so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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