Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
