so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
