Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
