I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
