I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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