I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
