worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
