Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
3 2 1 whiskey
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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