May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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