Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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