You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
zippers are such a cool invention
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
