we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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