i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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