fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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