Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
