i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
