Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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