I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
