Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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