His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we're making bets on your personal life
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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